Hungry Hippo

As promised, I want to let all the faithful readers know that I will be out of town for awhile. I'm going to attend a science meeting, the annual fly meeting, to be exact. Borrowing a term from Sparks, I want to confirm all your suspicions: the next few days will be hella nerdy. The best part about this trip is that we are heading down to Houston (H-Town, represent!), the birthplace of Destiny's Child, the hometown of the one-time world's largest movie theater, and the world's fattest city. I am actually excited to see all my old haunts, if I get a chance to separate from the Nerd Herd. I haven't been back in some time so I'm also looking forward to see how it's changed. I also think that my Texan accent would really benefit from a return to it's origins. And, of course, the food! You know, there's a reason why Houston is so fat and I can't wait to revisit it all.

I'm back to posting. I have been crazy busy here, and so much has happened in the last week. My girl Sparks came to visit, and I have many stories about our adventures. Also, a friend/labmate defended her thesis, so there has been much distraction and celebration. Her impending graduation also means that my status in the lab is changing--my new title of "senior grad student" is pending. This new title implies the possession of a sort of knowledge or wisdom or some kind of know-how. Unfortunately, I fear that these skills have passed me by in some way, which leads me to question my ability to take on responsibility. I'm flaky, I know it, and this last week, I got many inquiries from friends wondering what was up with the lack of posting. So here I am, back to reporting the highlights of what I manage to ingest. Next time I go long stretches with no posting, I promise to post in advance and say so. I've heard it's the polite thing to do.

I'd once read that chocolate contains a chemical that, upon consumption, causes humans to experience the feeling of being "in love". I've never encountered that sensation when eating chocolate, however, today I believe I've found the food that triggers that particular response in me. Maybe it's all the spring weather we've been having or perhaps it's the emergence of the tulips and daffodils, but today I let some crispy pan-fried pork belly melt on my tongue and I felt positively euphoric. I swooned, and then I fell in love.

While in hibernation and hiding from the frosty weather outside, I re-watched Coal-Miner's Daughter, the classic film about the life of Loretta Lynn. As I watched 13 year-old Sissy Spacek-as-Loretta marrying much older Tommy Lee Jones-as-Doo Lynn, I thought about the many things I liked about the South and living in Texas (considered by natives to be two separate and distinct regions, may I add). I only lived in Houston for two years, while I completed my junior and senior year of high school, but my family stayed in Houston for a total of eight years, so I continued to spend holidays in Texas while attending university in Montreal.

Throughout those years, while in Houston, I often hung out in Montrose with my high school friends. Most of the time we aimlessly cruised around town and would end up seeing a movie or playing pool, but sometimes we would catch a band at either the Abyss, Numbers, Fitzgerald's, or Rudyard's. Once in a while, we would find ourselves at a honky-tonk bar down town or rubbing shoulders with bikers at the local ice-house. At the end of those late nights, we'd find ourselves hankering for some late night grease and, inevitably, we'd find ourselves driving to the outskirts of the nearest ghetto to go to a "late-nite" Popeye's drive-thru. Back then, we'd order the combo meal, which was a small cup of rice and beans, two pieces of fried chicken--always spicy--and a fluffy biscuit, to split between two people. Most of the time, we couldn't wait to drive to someone's house to eat--we just parked somewhere and ate in the car. I found Popeye's to have some of the tastiest fast food that I've had, and although I really like the chicken and even the rice and red beans, my heart was always in the biscuit. Such light, fluffy biscuits, obviously made using some sort of vegetable shortening that served to swiftly deliver salty, flourly deliciousness straight to my tastebuds.

As I watched the newly married Sissy/Loretta attempting to learn how to cook, I thought about making my own biscuits. Since I'm not from the South, I didn't have a special "Grandmama's recipe" to recreate, but I did want to try to recreate the taste of Mr. Popeye's biscuits. The main difference in my attempts was the use of good ingredients, such as real, organic butter, instead of shortening that doubles as mechanic-grease. I ended up tweaking a recipe I found on the inside of a Horizon butter box. I figured that Horizon would want the best biscuit recipe possible to showcase their butter's rich and creamy flavour, so I chose to believe their implicit corporate message. Also, the recipe was for cheese biscuits--and who doesn't love cheese?

• 2 C all purpose unbleached flour
• 4 t baking powder
• 1/2 t salt
• 1/2 C salted butter (1 stick)
• 1 1/2 C shredded white cheddar
• 1/2 to 3/4 C whole milk

Preheat oven to 400 F. Measure and pour all dry ingredients into a food processor. Cut up cold butter and also add to the food processor bowl. Run the food processor with a regular blade to cut butter into the dry ingredients. The mixture should now resemble cornmeal. Empty the contents of the food processor into a mixing bowl. Mix in shredded cheese. Then, add milk slowly and blend until dough becomes sticky. Drop spoonfuls of dough onto a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet. Bake for approximately 20 minutes until golden. Cool on rack. Makes about 15 biscuits.

Straight out of the oven, these biscuits are amazingly like Popeye's biscuits, but cheesy! Loretta would have made Doo happy with these bad boys. For overnight storage, make sure to NOT use an airtight container. I've found that wrapping up completely cooled biscuits with parchment paper works best. But, honestly, the best way is to just eat them while they are still warm.

Please let me preface this by saying that I like to eat squid. In fact, I think squid can be delicious. I am also rarely picky about the species from which I obtain my protein. Tonight, however, while stopping by the local Food Extortion, I found this:



Is it the name? Or the scary mascot? I am guessing that it is a squid that happens to have a full set of human teeth yet no eyes. Yikes. Also, "juicy rings and tentacles" just doesn't sound like something anyone would want to eat. It sounds more like the result of a mating between a dog chew toy and an octopus. Not yummy at all.

With the threat of snow tonight, those who are pining for sunny weather and green cloaked trees can pretend to dance amongst the spring blossoms at the Cupcake Cafe.

My favourite flavour here is the walnut cupcake with maple buttercream icing. The cake is denser in texture than the average cupcake, but is always moist with a rich, not bitter, walnut flavour. And the lovely, buttery icing with a light maple touch compliments the cake perfectly. It all makes for a heavy (literally, weightwise), robust cupcake. But, really, what it all comes down to are the pretty, pretty flowers. If only all blooms were like a maple-walnut cupcake.

You may think that crumbs are rather benign, but really I'm saying that I risked
getting a full-body rash from sleeping in a crumb-filled bed. Not so pleasant.